"No! No!" I screamed. I ran as fast as I could (through a long tunnel, smoking a cigar, etc.), but the pants were too fast. They dropped me with their superior kung fu, my blood just beading up and rolling off their cuffs.
When I opened my eyes, I was reclining on a couch (covered with a Nano-Care™ Gripper™ Chair Cushion) with Scarlett Johansson, an inviting look in her eyes and a bottle of OilFresh cooking oil in her hands ... but that's a story for another day, and another Web site.
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