NANOLAND, April 10, 2006 (NBN) -- The aerosol form of Magic Nano, a glass/ceramic sealant that likely contains no actual nanotechnology, has been recalled in Germany after customers were reported hospitalized.
The illnesses were apparently related to the fine mist created by the aerosol -- an effect reported in similar products that do not contain "nano" in their names or marketing materials -- and not with the "nanotechnology" that the product does not contain.
Anti-nanotech activists say the recall is proof that even use of the word "nano" in packaging and marketing is hazardous to consumers.
"We are expanding our call for a moratorium on all nanotech products to cover all products that even use nano in their name," said a spokesperson for a coalition of anti-nanotech organizations. "We believe that when it comes to scary, new technologies that we do not understand, you cannot take too many precautions."
In a related development, area woman Nina Pood is suing Apple Computer, claiming that the IPod Nano -- an anagram of her name -- was created specifically to send mind-controling nanobots into her brain through earbuds that play nothing but Barry Manilow's "Mandy." Apple CEO Steve Jobs denies the allegations, saying, "If Ms. Pood would simply purchase another song at our online iTunes store, she could listen to the entire album for only $9.99."
NanoBot News will stay with this story as long as it remains ridiculous.